he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
