Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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