I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
