Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize