No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my sisters under your porch take her home
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
