I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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