Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
