By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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