am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
