barbara walters just said penis...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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