Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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