Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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