you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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