So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
