Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
