she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
