Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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