Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
