I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
