I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
