I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Shame - the story of my life.
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