She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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