Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Randomize
