I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
