I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
