Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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