At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
