Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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