so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.