So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
