Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
