I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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