I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
