It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
