Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm sobbing to NWA
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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