Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have aggressive nipples.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
