My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
