ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize
