going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
