Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
This baby is an asshole
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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