apparently the secret to your success is patron
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize