Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
