You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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