I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
