Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
