I've blown a few things in my day
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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