So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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