Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
