We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
