How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.