We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
