Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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