My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
