My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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