didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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