I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
