Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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