His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
