why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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