....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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