We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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