I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize