I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
