I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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