I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
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